1. EPITAPH:
See the anti-smoking poems at Poetry Teachers
http://www.poetryteachers.com/poetclass/lessons/smokepoem.html
"Here lies Sam Shay,
Smoked six packs a day.
He started smoking when he was five.
Now that fool is no longer alive."
1. What to Remember in School
by Kenn Nesbitt
Forget that two times four is eight.
Forget the name of every state.
Forget the answers on the test.
Forget which way is east or west.
Forget the myths of ancient Rome.
Forget to bring your books from home.
Forget the words you learned to spell.
Forget to hear the recess bell.
Forget your homeroom teacher's name.
Forget the after-school game.
Forget which team's supposed to win.
Forget to turn your homework in.
Forget the distance to the moon.
Forget how many days in June.
Forget the capital of France.
But don't forget to wear your pants!
1. What I Found in My Desk
by Bruce Lansky
A ripe peach with an ugly bruise,
a pair of stinky tennis shoes,
a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye,
a swimsuit that I left to dry,
a pencil that glows in the dark,
some bubble gum found in the park,
a paper bag with cookie crumbs,
an old kazoo that barely hums,
a spelling test I almost failed,
a letter that I should have mailed,
and one more thing, I must confess,
a note from teacher: Clean This Mess!!!!
2. What I'd Cook for My Teacher
by Bruce Lansky
If I cooked hot lunch for my teacher,
I would start out with rattlesnake stew.
Then I'd serve her a centipede salad
And a tall glass of milk mixed with glue.
Next, a seaweed and jellyfish sandwich,
For dessert, an a-chooberry pie.
When she finally finds out what she's eaten,
I hope the old bat doesn't die.
3. Too Busy
by Bruce Lansky
I've folded all my laundry
and put it in the drawer.
I've changed my linen, made my bed,
and swept my bedroom floor.
I've emptied out the garbage
and fixed tomorrow's lunch.
I've baked some cookies for dessert
and given dad a munch.
I've searched the house for pencils
and sharpened every one.
There are so many things to do
when homework must be done.
4. School Rules
by Bruce Lansky
Do not oversleep and miss the school bus-
you'll be late.
That's a habit teachers generally
don't appreciate.
Never tell your friends at school
that you still wet your bed.
They are sure to tease you,
and you'll wish that you were dead.
Never call your teacher a name
when she's not near you.
Teachers' ears are excellent,
so they can always hear you.
Do not read a textbook when your hands
aren't clean-it's tricky
to separate the pages when the pages
get real sticky.
When you go out for a team
it's always wise to practice.
When you are a substitute,
the bench can feel like cactus.
Do not copy homework from a friend
who is a dummy.
If you do, I'm sure that you
will get a grade that's crummy.
And if your report card's bad,
don't blame it on your buddy.
Kiss up to your parents quick,
or they might make you study.
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